Melancholy + Everything Good Cookies

Are there ever times when you feel some inexplicable sadness about everything and nothing in particular? There’s no reason for you to be sad at all because things are going fine and dandy… everyone in your family is doing good, you have a special someone whom you love and loves you back, all your friends are living their happy lives, you have a good job, your health is in perfect condition, you’re strong, and all in all, life is good. But there’s just that gnawing lonely feeling of a desire for something unbeknownst, a feeling of uncertainty for what the future might hold, a feeling of imbalance and insecurity, feeling like you’re standing at the edge of a cliff where at any moment you can fall and break into pieces. In moments like these, I flounder… I lose confidence and start doubting myself… I forget how to focus, forget to take a deep breath, forget to hold myself up, forget to smile, and forget my appreciation for life.   

Yesterday’s weather was weird… from sunrise until about 3:30 (which is right when I leave work) it was nice and sunny. Then, as soon as I got home, the sun disappeared, AAARGH! It made me sad because I really wanted to go on a bike ride and just free myself of any thoughts.

DFJ and I lounged on the couch and had a melancholic discussion about life for a little bit and then we decided to walk to a wine bar. This turned out to be the best idea. Somehow talking about our weird, unexplainable hang-ups in life while walking outside didn’t seem as bad as it did when we were holed up in the apartment. Vigor kicked in and we felt more hopeful as we talked about dreams and ideas while walking next to trees and watching mama birds circling over their nests and bikers and runners go by. Right at that moment, everything felt perfect… the future stopped seeming like a dreary, unknown darkness and started looking brighter, more inspiring, and full of sweet surprises.    

After an hour of walking and thinking out loud, we stopped at Hamilton Cellars and had a cheese plate while wine tasting. The tasting room is very classy… there was an inner room for wine club members and they all sounded like they were having a ball. The owner, Stacie, was very nice and gracious. She took time to talk about their wines and what she knew about the art of wine-making. We walked out in the pouring rain with two bottles of rosé. A few steps away is Casa Vino, a nice wine bar with selections from all over the world. We decided to order a bottle and each of us drank a glass with our delicious salad and panini, then took the rest of the wine home. The rain was pouring and I’m glad we cradled our wine like a baby because the bag was falling apart. Walking home for an hour in the rain, talking about silly things that people talk about after drinking wine, and feeling giddy was what I needed after a day of feeling down. It was one of our best dates! While walking home, both of us looked forward to enjoying some cookies, but I didn’t get the chance to because I conked out instantly.

These cookies are soft, chewy, and chockfull of good stuff! It has the right amount of everything you would want put together in a single cookie! These sweeties are meant for indulging because there’s not a lot of butter or sugar in it for the amount of flour and oats that went in the batter. So go ahead and bake these and eat them without feeling guilty.    

Everything Good Cookies (Makes 46-50 cookies)

Adapted from DFJ’s mom’s Cowboy Cookies

1 stick unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1 tbsp hazelnut oil
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla
½ cup milk (whole milk, 2%, 1%, nonfat, all are ok)
 
1 ½ cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
1 ½ cups old fashioned rolled oats
½ cup coconut flakes, sweetened
 
½ cup hazelnuts, chopped
½ cup dried cranberries
½ cup semisweet chocolate chips
½ cup extra dark chocolate chips
 
a tad of butter for greasing baking sheets

In a large mixing bowl: mix butter, oil, and sugar with an electric mixer on low, until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is creamy. Add the egg, vanilla, and milk and continue to mix on slow until batter is smooth. Set aside.    

In another large mixing bowl: whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until everything is well-combined. Pour in the oats and coconut flakes and whisk well.

In a medium-sized bowl, pour in the hazelnuts, cranberries, and chocolate chips. Mix well with a spoon and set aside.

Slowly pour wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix with the electric mixer on low until both wet and dry ingredients are well-incorporated. Add the hazelnut, cranberry, chocolate chip mixture and continue to mix on low until everything is well-combined.    

Move an oven rack to the middle spot and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease baking sheets with a tad of butter. Using a cookie dough scoop or your hands, scoop the dough or form into a ball and plop on a greased baking sheet. Evenly space them out and bake in the oven for 16 minutes.

Enjoy! 

 Lift your head up and smile, the world has so much to offer!